Tomorrow is R U OK Day and Iβm not really sure how I feel about it. Since Ben passed, I have definitely been more open with my feelings and how Iβm really actually feeling. Because we all know the stock standard answer. Yeah good, yourself? Most of the time the provided answer we give couldnβt be any more further from the truth.
But why is it we say it?
To avoid the awkward answer?
Is it the shame we feel in admitting we are not actually okay?
But if we are talking with our friends why the hell should it matter?
Thinking about it now my friends have been a lot more vocal as well and itβs been so much easier to understand why people may be acting or coming across the way they are. Knowing where they are coming from, it also helps me to be a better friend to them.
Iβll probably never be really okay again, and you know what Iβve excepted it. I really have. Some days are so hard. I didnβt know your whole body could ache just to see someone again. I mainly need to rest and sleep on my 2 days off to get me able to go into work for the other 3 but you know what im moving forward, no matter how slow Iβm still heading in the right direction.
The bottom line is it really is Okay, not to be Okay.
Good Night
Hayleigh
#itsokaynottobeokay
